Lessons About Myself That I Learned Through the Release Date of Final Fantasy VII Rebirth.
Some players had the opportunity to go out with Tifa or Aerith in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth. I enjoyed an evening with Red XIII, and it was the scene I really wanted to experience.
After numerous hours of traveling with my companions, I finally reached the "date" sequence in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth. This moment felt like a quiet pause before an emotionally charged climax, where I would discover with whom I had formed the strongest bond and take them out for a night at the Gold Saucer. The anticipation was intense: would Aerith welcome me? Had I done enough to win Tifa's heart? When I opened the door to Cloud's room, I didn’t see anyone at my height. I looked down and was surprised to realize that my "date" was with Red XIII. Instead of a romantic kiss, I found myself stuck on a Ferris wheel with an enthusiastic wolf-child. Cloud also seemed disappointed as Red XIII dragged him toward the Skywheel. However, that night with Red XIII became one of the most memorable moments of my experience, helping me to accept parts of myself that I had been struggling to understand.
Final Fantasy VII Rebirth incorporates a social bonding system, similar to that of other RPGs. Throughout the adventure, Cloud can strengthen his relationships through side quests or chats with party members. Although this system is not as extensive as in other games, the culmination occurs near the end, where Cloud has the chance to go on a date with the person he has forged the strongest bond with. If the right companion is chosen, this can result in a kiss during the Ferris wheel ride. However, that doesn't happen if you spend the night with Red XIII. During that moment, I see Red exploring the capsule of the wheel, awestruck by the holograms and fireworks. He is so excited that it seems someone needs to warn him not to drool on the seat. As they talk about Aerith, Cloud promises to take care of her, and this innocent exchange highlights the genuine friendship that sometimes overshadows romantic relationships.
This experience led me to reflect on my own sexuality. Since my university years, I have had an uncertain relationship with it. On the surface, I defined myself as a heterosexual man who had been in monogamous relationships. However, in my twenties, I began to perceive complicated feelings about sex. Although I enjoyed intimacy, my sexual desire was not as high as I had anticipated. Over time, I tried to ignore this feeling, convinced that it was simply a misunderstanding of my own normality. As I have grown, I discovered that I am not alone. The word "asexual" crossed my mind, and upon researching, I found it could be understood as a spectrum. Within this spectrum, the term "gray-ace" resonated with me, describing those who find themselves in an intermediary position between sexual desire and its absence.
Over time, I also realized how these tendencies reflected in my gaming preferences. I almost always avoid romance mechanics in video games, and I've noticed that for many, sex and relationships can be the main selling point. While I don't have a problem with these elements, it has been disappointing to encounter games that don't make room for those on the other end of the spectrum. Few works have addressed asexuality directly, which can make me feel disconnected in a community where the focus is often on romantic relationships.
Now, as I sit on the Ferris wheel with Red XIII, I initially thought my choices had been ridiculed. But upon reflecting, I realized that the moment, though it started as a joke, turned into something sincerely meaningful. Cloud's evolution, from being annoyed by the situation to showing genuine friendship toward Red, resonates with my own understanding of intimacy and the significance of these not necessarily romantic connections. Although my date with Red XIII was not what I expected, it turned out to be exactly what I needed.